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Poo and zombies; it’s what shlock is all about, and this new Zombie Ass trailer promises plenty of both, and more! From Noboru Iguchi (Machine Girl) and Yoshiro Nishimura (Tokyo Gore Police), comes a tale of*DANGER*&hellip…

We here at NETHERWORLD Haunted House love cool stuff and we found a fun way to eliminate Zombies when there are just too many of them -

Check out Zombie Tools.    http://zombietools.net/

We ordered a Deuce to slice up any extra zombies that might be stacking up in the warehouse… Cannot wait to get ours!

Check out this video

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Leaving any and all “Zombee” jokes at the door, a tiny parasitic fly is zombifying our winged friend the honeybee, and quickly becoming a suspect of colony collapse disorder.This isn’t zombification in its purest sense…

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One year left.

Z-Day. 2012. The Mayan zombie super-apocalypse. Sensational journalism. Paranoid survivalists. Gun nuts. People out having fun. Boy scouts taking their preparedness to the next level. If you can be ready for this, you can be ready for anything.

2012 and the end of the world has been discussed at length here (dozens of comments pending) and elsewhere. This site naturally leans towards a zombie apocalypse on the 21st of December, 2012. We’re zombie fans, we love this stuff. Take it with a grain of salt as you will. True,  most apocalypse theories and end time projections lack scientific evidence, but we don’t really care. If we can prepare in a year for a be-all end-all apocalypse of local or global scale based on humans turning into something decidedly less human, you can count on a zombie preparedness expert to get you out of a jam, change a flat tire, whip up delicious scorpion stew, or have a solid sate of mind to hear your own fears. We’re there for you, but we won’t hesitate to end it real quick if you decide to get all bitey on us. Just don’t expect us to share our escape strategies and survival plans with anyone, even our loved ones. They will be revealed when necessary.

Doomsday 2012 will certainly be creeping into mainstream media as the year progresses. You may count on a few groups or individuals even creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Y2K, Heaven’s Gate, May21, 2011 — the dates have come and gone, and some of us remain. That may be true come a year, but it doesn’t mean our curiosity will be satisfied on the 22nd.

Research indicates it will be the “Boyle” rage virus, still alive human type of zombie. If you’re looking for evidence, all it takes is a few Google searches and Cracked’s RSS feed. Cracked has posted numerous articles about Z-day. Here’s a few relevant ones to bring you up to speed.

5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

• Brain parasites (such as toxoplasma or Naegleria fowleri)
• Neurotoxins (like tetrodotoxin)
• Rage Virus (think advanced rabies)
• Neurogenesis (stem cell research causes post-mortem or post trauma brain growth)
• Nanobots

 7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly)

• Natural predators (dogs, wolves)
• Heat
• Cold
• Biting as a bad poor of transmission
• Inability to heal (which assumes dead zombies)
• Natural landscape barriers
• Weapons and people

And a terse list that fulfills a lot of our carnal desires:

5 Reasons You Secretly Want a Zombie Apocalypse

• Guilt Free Violence
• Free Stuff
• Simplicity
• Acting Like a Jerk
• Being the Alpha Dog

Even if the zombie, climate, political, or economic apocalypse doesn’t happen on the 21st, zombie haters will remain vigilant, stocked, and prepared.

It’s not a paranoia, it’s not a fear, or even a desire. It’s a mindset to think “what if” and “how can I be ready”.

Time to start the countdown.

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“It’s not the end of the world yet, but you can see it from here.”The world is going to end exactly one year from today – just let that sink in for a minute.December…

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Onward to Part 2 of the Apocalypse Gift Guide!BooksThis one’s kind of a no-brainer (ha!), something to do with zombies of course, just not the usual fiction. If you’re stuck trying to find that…

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The holidays can seem like the end of the world, but a year’s worth of credit card debt and getting pepper-sprayed in the face over a toy are nothing compared to dead people eating you. So why…

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It’s time to get shooting.

The Undead Report store is now open! The zombie targets are back, this time as instant download for printing your own zombie targets!

Your purchases help keep this site alive, further zombie research and develop even more targets!

What targets would you like to see? Zombie Santa Claus? Martians? Steampunk zombie? Sound off and let it be known!

PRINTABLE ZOMBIE SHOOTING TARGETS FOR SALE!

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Yes, that’s right. The Undead Report’s Zombie Targets are back! Starting Dec 1, you will be able to purchase and download targets and then print as many as you desire to your zombie hating hearts content!

Fresh from range testing, the targets are here once again for ordering and shooting. The targets are now print-at-home, so you’ll be able to print as many as you want for all your bow-hunting, plinking, Nerf battles, paintballing, Airsoft zombie hunting and dart throwing needs!

The targets will be available individually, or you can save and download the three pack! All targets are 8.5″ x 11″ PDFs and specially designed to print in only black ink for ease of printing at home. Targets include areas to mark weapon information, highlighted killzones and more!

Special discount code will be mentioned on launch day on Facebook and in the chat box for my regular members!

It’s time to prepare. We’ve a little over one year left. Let’s get ready.

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It’s coming. Soon. Are you prepared? The CDC and your girlfriend want you to be prepared for any disaster, zombie, hurricane or running out of chapstick crapstorm that may happen. If you plan ahead and think about how the proverbial shit may hit the fan, and to what degree, your preparedness will pay off in the short and long term.

There are a zillion things you can use for weapons, as you’re most likely aware. Some practical, some extreme, some personal — weapon choice is highly contested and left for another debate. The following are a few (non-weapon) items to get you started for a variety of scenarios on a reasonable budget.

1 - Gas mask. You want something real, not an old Israeli or Canadian something or other that you can’t trust. Nerve agents may be used. Corpses may stink. You may just want to intimidate the dead.

Recommendation:  SGE 400/3 NBC Full Facepiece Respirator ($175). Fun tip: if you get confused with the enraged zombies and are hit with tear gas (CS gas), rub Maalox on your face. CS gas is an acidic powder and the Maalox counteracts it. Milk helps as well.

Short term: Awesome to have, useful to prevent mesothelioma if you’re crawling in forbidden places of urban exploration. Long term: keeping your ass alive.

2 - Communication. How will you rally the troops and order for a zombie skin pizza? While some services may remain in the early hours of an apocalypse, you’ll need something for short and long distance communication. Radios. A few pocket radios and a trusty CB for your vehicle will help you stay alert and alive.

Recommendation – Good ol’ GMRS walkie talkies. Look for something that can handle water getting on it and is rugged enough to be dropped. Motorola makes a decent pair, though you’ll never get more than two or three miles out of any GMRS radio.

Short term: Great for road trips. Long term: coordinating information and trolling other survivors on the channel.

3 – Multi-tool or knife. Stuff will need cutting, fixing, and stabbing. It will also need opening, wrenching and prying. It’s best to have a tool at your side that can serve many functions. No uni-taskers on your belt.

Recommendation: Gerber Multi-Tool ($48).

Short term: you may use it every day. Long term: Again, this could save your life.

4 – Boots. Comfort is a must, and this is a very personal choice. You’ll want ankle protection and good traction. Leather provides ample room, protection and is fairly light weight, but its warmth and water resistance can falter occasionally.

Recommendation: 5-11 ATAC Boot ($99). I also recommend Carolina 923 ($160). Leather and wool treat one well, in summer or winter.

Short term: come on, you look smashing! Long term: Staying comfortable and protecting your tender toes.

5 – Torch. Here, too, you want reliability over features. You’re going to need a long life flashlight over something super bright with strobes. Practicality over wishful thinking.

Recommendation: The ever reliable, had it for years and I’ve used it underwater Mini Maglite.

Short term: Stop using your cell phone. Long term: Stop using your cell phone.

6 – Entertainment. You don’t want to be bored do you? Just because its the end of the world doesn’t mean it has to be the end of fun. A small MP3 player with USB charging is ideal, but don’t forget a small radio with aux input or SW radio capabilities to share the news and tunes.

Recommendation – Your personal MP3 player or Wind-up SW radio receiver ($50). There are many on the market, but make sure it has wind up auxiliary power, and if possible an aux input for your MP3 player.

Short term: You probably already have one. Long term: Sanity.

7 – Medical treatment. It’s not the cut or bite that kills, its the infection and bacteria. You’ll want to keep those wounds clean and address them quickly. There are many First Aid Kits (FAKs) on the market, but be sure to inspect it and customize it to your needs. Pack anti-mosquito spray if you’re in the jungle, frostbite kits for the frozen north, and so forth.

Recommendation: Voodoo FAK ($50). An alternative is to buy and empty pouch and then customize to your needs. Dont forget knives and scissors.

Short term: Hangnails. Long term: Rigor mortis prevention.

8 – Power. You’re going to need to power your radios, music players, GPS’s and floodlights somehow. Solar collectors and battery chargers are your friends. Think versatility: 12V accessory, USB, and small inverters. You want to charge some gadgets, not blow dry your hair, so you don’t need a massive system.

Rubber shoes in motion! Thanks to TeslaDownUnder.com

Recommendation – A battery and USB charger in one. Try the XTG Solar Charger ($25) for AA, AAA and USB Charging.

Short term: Being green. Long term: Keeping you moving and operating.

9 – Directions. You’ll need to get around, and your smart phone will probably not cut it anymore. It’s time for tried and true means of getting your bearings. Map and compass; with them, you are never lost.

Recommendation – Road atlas and sturdy metal compass. You can pick both up at a hardware store or large gas station for around $20. Paper maps will do you well to make notes, plan courses, and find points of interest.

Short term: It’s good to know how to use these for the Long Term: Prevent doubling back, getting lost, and winding up in Atlanta. The city is always full of the Walken Dead.

10 – Rope. You never know when you’re gonna need rope. Tying bundles, rigging a shelter, hauling equipment or lashing down some undead, make sure you have a decent supply of rope, and know your knots. Simple knots and good rope can get you up a building, down a cliff, or save your life.

Recommendation: Charlie Bronson’s always got rope.

What else would you recommend for robust preparedness in any situation? Leave your comments below.